Neanderthal Morning

Omg I slept in! Mind you I went to bed early this morning. I was planning on waking up, showering and injecting the coffee into my bloodstream at a decent hour this morning, then be off to do the stuff I need to do. But I just woke up, and although I am presently injecting caffeine into my bloodstream, I have not showered or scratched my ass or accomplished anything else at this point.
I really feel a tad Neanderthal-ish to be honest. Sitting here on the grass outside my door rubbing rocks together in the hopes of starting a fire so I’ll have hot water for my shower, and um… typing.
“Grunt.”

Welcome to Mr. Neanderthals Neighborhood! (insert theme song here)
“Ugg kids! Welcome to my neighborhood grunt. Let me put on my slippers, look I can toss one to my other hand and catch it and be impressed that I caught a slipper that I tossed from 2 inches away. I don’t like slippers, lets eat them.”
(Ding ding ding)
“Oh here comes Mr. Trolley, that annoying train which scares me because I am a Neanderthal and don’t understand it.” (Smash Crash) “I trashed Mr. Trolley kids, grunt, now let’s beat our chests and roar like we just clubbed a woman.”
(ding dong)
“Oh that must be Mr. Dino the postman kids! Let’s answer the door.”
(Roar snap snap Roar!)
“Oh my, the postman tried to eat me in a non sexual way. Now we will have to spear the bastard lizard and take our mail from him. Then we can roast his hide on an open flame and feast on his carcass… come on kids, grab your spears… not Britney.”

Yup that’s how I feel today, a bit rough around the edges. Well I should get moving and at least scratch my ass. Hold on… awww there, I did something. Nothing like a good ass scratching in the morning. Ohhhh ahhhhhhhhhh, I’m not telling what I just scratched there, but it was good.